2nd Annual Pinties
The 2nd Annual Pinties, announced on April 1st, 2008 and awarded on April 3rd, 2008, were marked with much fanfare and were followed by decent amount of e-drama as Zorg and Scyle tore into each other over who was more responsible for Kundalini's exit; with Zorg emerging the winner. However, the most noteworthy moment of the awards ceremony was Pintsized's proposal to Saelene. Standard Posting Awards Winner are listed first and in bold with Pintsized's citation following. Biggest, Baddest Forum Badass *''Shaletron'' **''Creamsicle'' **''Pheerbeard'' " Ooo ho ho ho, let Erin remember 'pon this glorious day that our own immortal green has been so honored. Truly, this is a day for intoxication and Dropkick Murphy." Richest Poster **''Shankly'' **''Baphomekt'' **''Smock'' The winnners, who were not nominated, were Pheerbeard/Fugs/Ensui. "For they show what a world of wealth friendship can be." Most Underrated Poster *''Cracker'' **''Bramblefist'' **''Kurrin'' "Though I have many opponents who'd disagree with this choice, many who'd wish to tear me down... Break my back, metaphorically burn everything I have given this forum and piss on the ashes, I will not let them stop me from giving this award to Joe! Dammit, he is the original Ramonator! No other poster has so much comical, meaningless aggression that is so quickly diffused, no other poster until very recently has been so delightfully unintentionally hilarious, and no other poster puts so much heartfelt joie de vivre into his posts!" Best New Poster *''Ramonator'' **''Andraeos'' **''Ixxan'' "Marblegun." Best DoS Architect *''Lazrik'' **''MOREK'' **''Knights'' "As much as it pains me to do this, I must award the world's unfunniest fat man the DoS Architect award. More than almost any other poster, Lazrik has contributed to what DoS currently is, for better or for worse. We have him to thank for our nifty website and its improved forum features and a decent amount of drama throughout our history, not to mention being a loser who always has time to admin when he isn't purging without the binging. AND he was one of the leading causes of the Free OT's merge with the TLDR which has led to our current glorious state of dreghood. For these things I thank you, Alex." Best Troll *''Shankly'' **''Lazrik'' **''Andraeos'' "When he came here so long ago I thought of him as nothing more than a background poster. Indeed, it took a few months after his arrival for me to realize he was a real life friend of Luc (Baph). Even after that I neglected him to the rank of Luc's IRL friend, a Bostonian Fraser (CC), if you will. But as he has proven so many times over the past year, I was wrong. Despite the massive legacy that the OT's trolling history brought to DoS, we were unprepared for the mulatto BASP with a private school education, a writing style that puts the most arrogant adolescent sneers to shame, and a will to make fools out of a troll savvy forum. Leon has proven his worth a dozen times over, and it is high time he got the recognition he deserves." Best E-Drama Creator(s) *''Zorg'' **''Scyle'' **''Andraeos'' "Though a number of misguided posters would sooner blame Sean (Scyle) for Galen's (Kundalini) exodus, Zorg was truly the mastermind behind that affair. It's truly ironic, to use the popular definition of irony (irony means something that's funny), that Zorg, who for so long sought to be hated, has become loved because of his charming grumpiness and general loserness. It's even more ironic (same definition) that this popularity has prevented him from getting any grief for his most truly cruel jackass maneuver. Regardlessly, he deserves this award." Best :iceburn: er *''Clamz'' **''Zorg'' **''NL'' "Brandon has always been a much detested fixture of the TLDR and then DoS. Ever since he first came to the TLDR people were wondering aloud and in posts: "why is this New Englander telling us about how many pounds of dirt he moved at Lowes today?" While his posting quality hasn't improved, his all encompassing bitterness at his go nowhere life and rl and e unpopularity has turned him into the lazy-eyed, soul music-backed Prince of Persia of DoS. This has resulted in some half decent :iceburn: s which only deserve recognition in light of the total lack of quality :iceburn: s this year has brought." Fattest Poster *''Lazrik'' **''Pheerbeard'' **''Rita'' **''Glue'' "Even with his recent crash dieting, Alex is still stomach lengths ahead of his closest competitor. Furthermore, I'm sure he'll cement his position once his weight yo-yos and he weighs even more than he used to, providing a fascinating scientific mystery for physicians and physicists everywhere." Most Attractive Female Poster or greatest physical improvement in a female poster *''Alyce'' **''Mitten'' **''Whichever female Andraeos is pretending to be this week'' **''Sylke'' "While Ashley (Mitten) and Georgia (Georgia) were busy stuffing entire bags of oatmeal cookies (as in the entire bags, not opening them or anything) down their gullets in an attempt to lose weight, Andraeos was sharpening her nose so she could use it to headbutt men and steal their brain knowledge juices before stealing their wallets, Mary was capturing my heart, Mommy (Moki) and Rachel (Rochila) weren't posting, and Lafonda was singing iR.E.S.P.E.C.T./i to Saeed (CLester), Sam was actually making an effort to better herself. Already a lovely girl, and one deserving of much praise for sexing the much belusted Alec (Sylke), not to mention incidents that shall not be named, she has managed to better herself even more. Her bench pressing of Alec and unrelated polevaulting has left her with howitzers that could toss her boyfriend to the moon, and her acne has cleared to reveal even more of her beauty. For these reasons, I truly believe she deserves the title of Most Attractive Female Poster." Most Attractive Male Poster or greatest physical improvement in a male poster *''Snugglebuns'' **''Chaplow'' **''Sylke'' "My, oh my, oh my; what a tough award this is. Just narrowing it down to only three, or three-ish, is hard. That being said, I think Snugglebuns stands above the rest, if only slightly. From his perfectly chiseled jaw to his curiously feminine bogan face; adored with tribal piercings, tattoos, and self-inflicted scars; Snugglebuns is a fine hunk of manflesh. What makes his beauty so defining, however, is how perfectly, and paradoxically, he varies from feminine to masculine to androgynous. Looking at any of his pictures shows each of these traits, and while most people who seem to be both masculine and feminine are usually classified as only androgynous, Snugglebuns transcends this and exists as all three at once, and would manage to still be attractive even if he was only one of these. For this reason and the case his visage speaks so eloquently, I have given him the Most Attractive Male award." Best Poster *''Chaplow'' **''Clamz'' **''NL'' "Soon after this magnificent fker came to the TLDR he distinguished himself with full automatic bursts of quality, and he hasn't let up since. On the contrary, he's upgraded to glacier-cooled mega-mini-guns of quality, posting a dazzling amount of hilarity almost every single day. As with all great posters, his abilities are many. One day he'll scan and post a mind boggling artistic masterpiece, the next he'll be whistling conspicuously as the grease-soaked members of this forum move slightly side to side, gasping for air, in their roller chairs as a mysterious new alt unsheathes his shtick. Though his quality will almost definitely decline soon after his recognition, like all great posters, he's still entertaining for the time being. You currently are the king of queers, Derry. Enjoy it." Special Achievements Poster Who Bitched to Me the Most About Not Getting an Award Burkek "This is what you get, you whiny, simping, Mexican faggot." Lifetime Achievement in Forum Stealth Fidelman "Truly, your posting persona should be distilled and used to develop cloaking devices. What is it? Ten thousand posts about Resident Evil and funk music that have gone totally unnoticed?" The Inheritor of the Ron Howard Title Tiz "Congratulations, Ron Howard Carol. You have managed to obtain, for the time being, the rank gingers everywhere covet: Ron Howard. You earned it." Lifetime in Photoshop MOREK "What can I say? Our cocks, my banners, our prized Jerubaal Bro shops... The man keeps on giving. I'd love to have a general award for image manipulation, but quarter-assed MS Paint jobs can't compare to the only person here with actual YTMND fame. Your given to us for so long, MOREK, you deserve a dozen lifetime achievements. Sadly, I can only give out one today." Category:TLDR History